Samurai Sunday: Nicki Minaj the Kung-Fu Master?


This is an open letter to Michael Jai White.

Dear Mr. “Muscle bound man, put his face in the sand” AKA Michael Jai White,

You’re the closest man (aside from Taimak who is in a category all of his own) to Bruce Lee I’ll ever be able to touch/or not [I know you’re married].  But what would have motivated you to participate in such an atrocity against the Kung-Fu world as that of the “Your Love” music video by Nicki Minaj (which BTW is a sample of Annie Lennox’s “No More I Love Yous.”)?  Was it the fake booty and  breasts?  Pish-posh, all of that is overrated anyway!

You know how much I love my Samurai Sunday-those aerial jumps and 90 degree kicks, revenge and honor plot lines, Fists of Fury and of course the Shaw Brothers.  It was to my dismay that I found you in a video with the pop tart princess, sista of the weird faces and strange voices, Nicki Minaj.  You intelligent, witty, glistened, muscular man coming off the highly successful (gravely slept on) film Black Dynamite.  HOW could you sit back and allow this to happen? How did that conversation go?  Did you just show up?  They just didn’t use you to your full potential.  And that made me mad. As mad as Black Dynamite was when flip-mouthed Euphoria steps out of pocket. “Euphoria, shut the fuck up! I know that was you! I ain’t even gotta look! I should send you to Crenshaw Pete with his hot-ass coat hangers, bitch. Would you like that?”

Let us pray!  Oh Samurai God…please deliver Michael Jai-fine as ever-White from the dubious and dismal attacks against our Kung-Fu culture through the self-proclaimed plasticity Barbie that is Nicki Minaj.  Mr. White, can I be your agent?


The Tofu Chitlin’ Circuit


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  1. Yo, I was really tickled by this letter LOL. I was like aiite number 1 I didn’t know you were nuts about the guy, 2 I feel the same way about Nicki and couldn’t have said it better myself LMAO pop tart princess. Listen, you can’t blame Micheal for this, hol;lywood has brainfarts like this all the time, and Micheal been in a ton of music videos from this one, to Busta Rhymes of all people so if the money is right he will take it 🙂 But I gotta disagree with you on one thing, this video was shot beautifully and everything from the colors and the creativity with the blood was impeccable. Hell, even the pop tart princess looked good (did I just type that?) Very funny indeed tho lady Hahahahaha!

    • Please don’t get caught up in her booty-the video looks like they scouted the last abandoned warehouse in NY, hung $1.99 a yard fabric (45 inches in the width) from the rafters, and then went to a props shop and found realistically fake pieces for them to stand on. Totally. Thanks for commenting! I like MJW, I’m not “infatuated” with him…where would you get an idea like that? LOL!

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